You Need To Love Yourself First

I remember the first time I heard that in order to love someone else you first needed to love yourself. At the time, it didn’t make a bit of sense. Weren’t you vain if you loved yourself (or at least if you admitted it to anyone else)?

But the truth is to truly love others, you must love yourself. You must believe you are worthy of love in order to fully give your love to someone else.

The first advice I give anyone who wants to learn about how to meet women is to first focus on yourself and building your self confidence and self esteem.

Relationship guru Mike Robbins writes about this self love on The Huffington Post this week.

Robbins is a motivational speaker and coach. He has written two books: “Focus on the Good Stuff and Be Yourself�Eand “Everyone Else is Already Taken.�E

In his article on the Huffington Post, Robbins talks about that little voice in our heads that is constantly telling us we are not good enough.

See the truth is that we often are looking for happiness outside ourselves. If you think you need something �Eor someone �Eto make you happy, you will never find true happiness.

“Self love is what we’re all searching for,�ERobbins writes. “In our work, our relationships, and our lives. Sadly, we spend most of our time thinking that someone or something else can give us what only we can give ourselves. To be truly fulfilled in life and relationships, we have to find the love within us and give it to ourselves. No other person, material possession, or accomplishment can do it. It’s up to us.�E

For only those who find happiness within themselves, by loving themselves, will find it with others.

Many of us abstractly believe that loving ourselves is important, but do we really mean it?

“For most of us, loving ourselves is something we may know is important, but often have difficulty actually feeling, expressing, and embodying,�ERobbins writes.

So just how do you go about loving yourself? Well Robbins has some tips.

The first advice he gives is to look at how you treat yourself. Look at the role self love plays in your life. Are you too hard and critical to yourself when you should be more kind and loving and understanding?

Then, practice loving yourself unconditionally, the way really good parents do. A parent who gives unconditional love says they will always love you no matter what. No matter what. That means accepting all our faults and mistakes and so on and loving us anyway.

Third, start practicing your self love immediately. Start getting rid of that harsh, negative self talk and learn to be understanding and tolerant of your own foibles.

“Self love is the starting point, not the end game, of our conscious growth and development,�ERobbins writes. “… when we put our attention on loving ourselves in an authentic way, everything in our lives that is important to us — our work, our relationships, our goals, and more — flows from there with a sense of ease, joy, and, most important, love.

Bill has been studying How to Flirt for the last 5 years. While the game has changed since the VH1 show The Pickup Artist, he is more convinced than ever that this stuff helps guys improve their life. The original article can be found here: You Need to Love Yourself First.