There’s No Reason to Get So Offended

Is it just me, or are there way too many people around who seem to be way too sensitive about, you know, everything?

There’s a weird phenomenon these days – and maybe always – where it seems like we live in a constant state of being ready to be offended, and as a result, a constant state of trying not to offend anyone.

So we take extra special care to be sure to not say the wrong thing, so we often end up never saying anything at all, except what others want to hear. A whole lot of sugarcoating, if you will. And what does that get you? I feel like it gets you a whole lot of boring conversation, for one.

Now, I’m not saying you should get out there as soon as possible and tell some people off. Far from it. I believe in manners and congeniality as much as anyone. And the fact that I have to point that out, is part of what I’m talking about. There’s more to any given conversation than the two extremes.

I believe that one should be prepared to hear something they might not like, and be prepared to discuss it without overreacting. Essentially, I believe in positive, interesting discourse.

I love a good debate, but I try to be careful to only get into them with people that I know won’t overreact if I disagree with them, and won’t misconstrue anything I say. And won’t parse the language to try to make it mean something that I didn’t really say (you know, political pundit style). And won’t take the “if you’re not with us, you’re against us” position. And won’t get offended.

Because, frankly, what does it really mean to be offensive? It’s different for everyone, of course, but essentially something is only offensive because you think it’s offensive. So it’s basically in your mind.

Shakespeare once wrote, in Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Well, I have to admit that that’s true, and I have to point out that I just quoted Shakespeare. You know you’re impressed.

So I guess what I’m saying is that there’s no such thing as something offensive.

Maybe it’s just the human condition, to allow one’s feelings to get hurt easily. But I also believe that most people want positivity in their lives, and want to be happy.

Once, when I was speaking to personal development expert Steve Pavlina, he said to me, “Hurt feelings are a step in the right direction for many people.” Pointing out that sometimes you need to speak to someone plainly, and let them know when they need to get their butt in gear. Then, if their feelings get hurt, maybe they’ll see the problem, and then they will get their butt in gear and start making the important changes they’ve been meaning to get to some day. So it can have positive results for some people.

But this over-sensitivity can also go too far in the other direction. And I’ve seen it first hand. For example, when someone is the type of person to find everything offensive, they’ll often end up putting themselves on the lookout for things that are offensive. And frankly, if you want to find offensive things, then you’ll definitely find them.

In fact, there are entire organizations dedicated to pointing out offensive words or materials, and they naturally find them wherever they see fit to.

But to me, that’s a very negative, and damaging way to live. And I’d imagine you could only do it for so long before becoming jaded and hateful towards others who are, as you see it, offending you.

I can’t live like that. Believe me, I tried. Luckily I was able to get out before it was too late. And I’m very fortunate to know others who prefer to be positive and take things the right way. Like I said, I think most people prefer positivity, so I consider myself lucky to have made a lot of friends as a result of becoming more positive. And that ranks right up there with my family as the best thing in my life.

I’ve written before about having positive relationships. Well, they’re only ever going to be a result of your own attitude. And that means that you’re either going to take what others say and do in stride, or you’re going to let yourself react negatively, and as a result, and keep others at bay.

As always, I recommend positivity.

Mark Yarrobino is the administrator of Secrets To Your Success, a website designed to help its visitors find the best information and real world methods for improving whatever part of their lives they feel might need some help. Most of the information is provided in the form of articles and audio interviews with experts in the various fields of self help and personal development.